This post is super late. In fact almost 8 months since the day but i thought why not update the blog. I have been reading everyone’s posts and have to really make more of an effort to blog.
It was a Friday, I was 38 weeks, we went in to see our Obstetrician and everything was going great. I experienced my very first stretch and sweep and found while it was super uncomfortable the pain kind of went away straight after. We had been worried as Jude was breech for all of my pregnancy until about 33 weeks, when he decided to flip which also brought on some new lovely pelvic pains. I had been suffering from pelvic pressure and had been wearing a special band from about 16 weeks, so I was kind of used to it but boy, oh boy, did it hurt for the last 6 weeks.
Everything was looking fine and much to Amy’s protest our Doctor wouldn’t induce me just yet (I was cheering). We were scheduled to come back the following week which would also have been my last week of work. I wanted to work as close to birth as I could, however, Amy wanted me to finish up 2 weeks early and rest.
It was a Thursday, I was 39 weeks when i officially went on maternity leave. I finished work and headed home, i was stressed (don’t know why) and over the day. Amy decided to try to cheer me up so we went out to enjoy one of our last nights out for dinner, just the two of us. We decided on Mexican, our dinner arrived and I begun to eat my corn chips until i felt something very hard between my teeth. I was unsure if it was my corn chip or my actual tooth, turns out i had chipped half of my tooth off on this corn chip that was meant to cheer me up. Meanwhile, Amy is pissing herself laughing. Still to this day i have that part of my tooth in my wallet – don’t ask me why. LOL!
The following day we headed in to our obstetrician appointment and all the regular checks were done. Nothing new to report but was 1cm dilated but Jude was still happily in his hammock (the name I gave my stomach). When our Doctor checked my blood pressure it was high so he gave that look to Amy and then made a call. He then gave me the news that i would be getting bloods drawn immediately and presenting at our hospital on Sunday night at 9pm to start induction. Amy was so excited she practically made out with him. I was so scared i almost vomited on him.
SUNDAY was only 1 full day away. We were going to be in the labour suite on Sunday night to start the induction, to bring on labour, to have OUR baby. I was so anxious. I was so scared and I was so over Amy being so excited LOL! We had made the decision that we didn’t want anyone to know. We didn’t want to be bombarded with questions and constant calls and texts. We didn’t want to have people waiting and more importantly, after loosing Indie we didn’t want to share this with anyone but each other. We just wanted to be selfish and keep him all to ourselves for as long as we could.
That night Amy decided that she would pack our hospital bags and I decided to check mine (Amy had packed it) and thank gosh I did. She had packed me a shirt that didn’t even fit me when i wasn’t pregnant. A single pair of pyjama pants and underpants a few sizes too small and a Bali shirt that was more like a tank top (which was apparently for labour). Now I do understand i should have packed my bag myself but honestly wife, WTF! I looked over at Amy’s pile and found changes of her best clothes for the week, jumpers and lounge pants etc. Made me giggle but also meant I could go shopping. YAY!
Saturday came before I knew it, and Amy was in full nesting mode. I was in full shitting my pants mode. Amy would clean the house like a cool, calm and excited mum to be while i was doing my best to sleep it all away and not stress about what was about to happen.
Sunday came around even quicker than Saturday, we just went about our day. We had some early dinner and just got on with being either excited, scared and finally made our way into the hospital. Amy had left super early and taken the toll free roads which meant a super long ride to what felt like the last day my vagina would ever be the same – thanks wife.
We arrived and they were waiting for us and gave us the room with “beautiful city views”. I wanted a room with a birthing bath but there was none. Our room still had a bath I could labour in but couldn’t birth there. I was fine with that.
I literally settled in, was hooked up to monitors and before I knew it the midwife was inserting gel to soften my cervix and i was told to lay still for half an hour. I started having period pain like cramps almost immediately. I just knew this was going to be so painful but i was prepared as much as i could have been and just tried to be positive, while quietly shitting my pants. Meanwhile i look over at Amy who is being shown how to look and read the big monitors and how to see when i was contracting etc. I was secretly envious of her for a moment. I wished i was on the other end.
Nothing much else happened. I contracted and contracted and got to 2cm but was doing the best I could to just get on with it all.
The contractions were pretty intense so I laboured a while in the bath but felt more at ease moving around. I would then relax on the bed while Amy would tell me when a contraction was coming. It was the calm before the storm and while the storm would get much more intense I was slowly realising I could do it.
I had another dose popped in and once again was bed bound for half an hour and then could move around. I recall sleeping on and off and feeling trapped, like I was stuck in the bed until the 30 minutes had worn off and as soon as i knew i couldn’t move i immediately wanted to move.
A new midwife came on Monday morning and it was time for another dose to be administered, it was about 10am at this point however, this time when she popped it in I felt like a million razor blades scraping my insides. It felt like a cheese grater had gone to town inside me and i felt swollen and sore and I immediately jumped back and said “no more”. I could not take one more internal – I was done. She explained i was at 4cm and that things were moving along slowly. She wanted to break my waters and at that point labour would become stronger and they could pop me on the drip instead. She explained i could opt for the epidural at that point and honestly while i was dealing with the pain externally, internally my insides were done. They felt so irritated and we hadn’t even got to the good bits. I couldn’t handle another dose to be honest. I often think to myself that I’d rather labour pain free naturally than to ever have another dose administered internally ever again. Amy and I tried to move things along by walking the birthing suite hallways, then back to our room to squat, then repeat all over again for which felt like a lifetime. Amy was still excited as all hell and getting more eager with every contraction. She was walking by my side the whole time, helping me squat. We were working as a team to get this baby out.
I could feel the contractions. One after another. Stronger, more frequent and I was trying to remember to breathe. I guess those four hours went by because before we knew it I was back on the bed discussing what happens next because I was not going to have another internal.
At some point we decided to call the anesthesiologist and he came in, I was propped over a pillow holding onto Amy while the epidural was inserted. I was always open for anything as long as Jude and I were safe. I felt a little scared to be honest getting the epidural, but it was over before i could even begin to worry. By this stage i was feeling each and every contraction, while i wasn’t screaming from pain i was internally screaming. It was such a weird feeling though, as each contraction meant i was closer to Jude. The epidural was done, however, I could still feel my left side and the right side was completely numb. The midwife then went along and broke my water and i was hooked up to a drip. The midwife mentioned that after breaking my water that Jude’s head had come quite further down. Whoop!! Finally!!
I recall having this feeling like it was just going to happen almost immediately. As soon as I was feeling more relaxed and able to process more of what was happening Amy would update me on the contractions and I would be ever so thankful i could only feel them slightly. I recall it being late afternoon and dozing on and off and waking up feeling uncomfortable. We kept asking how things were going and I was examined and told 7cm and Jude’s head had come down further again. This part for me was the hardest. I no longer could feel the contractions as much, they were slight period pains and again only on the left side so it felt like i wasn’t progressing although my body was.
Moving along a few more hours I recall it being around 11pm and I was examined again. Everything was great. I was about 9cm at this point and I was told I would feel pressure and soon enough we would be ready to push.
I recall feeling this pressure get worse, just after the midwives last check. It was like there was a bowling ball just ready to fall out of me. I still didn’t say much, instead I just sat there and thought “ill know when I need to push, they keep telling me”. I mentioned it to Amy and she went and got the midwife. I was examined and was told Jude’s head was sitting right there. The midwife called Amy over and made me push slightly, between Amy and the midwife’s excitement i thought Jude’s head was practically ready to come out. Little did i know, it was just the top of his head.
It is now early hours of Tuesday morning, and the midwife went out to call our Obstetrician. When she came back in she started to get the room ready, and got me to start pushing. Within 30 minutes our doctor had arrived and he began to examine me, he asked me to hold onto my legs and push, I still could not feel one side of my body so this was useless LOL! Amy had one leg and the midwife had the otherObstetrician Our doctor could tell that the midwife was annoying the hell out of me, so told her to move and he grabbed my numb leg. Don’t get me wrong, the midwife was lovely, but boy was she annoying. She kept saying to me “get angry with your bottom” – WTF?!!
My doctor realised that I was numb and could not feel where i needed to push properly, so he got the midwife to grab a mirror. Here i was thinking a little handheld mirror, nope. Next minute the midwife is wheeling in this gigantic mirror and stops it at the end of the bed, now i can see EVERYTHING. I began to push with every contraction, and there he was, i had birthed Jude’s head, it was almost over. I remember seeing Amy’s face and she was scared, like something was not right (scared after losing Indie). Our doctor reassured Amy, as he began to unwrapped the cord from around Jude’s neck TWICE! He turned to Amy and said “come on, birth your son”. Amy freaked out and said she couldn’t, I reassured her she could. Our doctor told her to grab under his shoulders with the next contraction while i push. There he was so beautiful and covered in vernix, Amy placed him on my chest and he made his first sound. His very first cry, then he just laid content on my chest. He was happy to just lay there and so were we. Holding each other in amazement at what had just happened. Here he was, our amazing rainbow baby – so alive and healthy. Everything we had hoped and dreamed.